Job Hunting

So, Piper gets an awesome job. She’s stuck in the basement of the building with the other designers, but she seems really happy—dark and perhaps vampire-ish, but happy. She keeps rooting for Clark and me to find jobs quick. I, in turn, keep pushing Step-on-me to hire someone, but she keeps saying that she doesn’t have time right now. You know, I’m trying to not TOTALLY screw her over, but she can’t say I didn’t warn her.

I had another interview last week before Thanksgiving break. The facility is actually right across the road from ICE and it’s still within their parent company, so I’d be keeping my benefits and just be getting a promotion. I’d still be parking at the same location and everything. It would be really nice if everything worked out.

The interview went rather well, I think. The lady seemed very impressed with everything I had to say. I have done or could do everything that she mentioned. I’ve got my second interview with everyone at the business today and (presuming all goes well) they want to give an offer by Friday.

Because of ICE corrupting my mind and constantly enforcing that designers and liking/enjoying creativity being one of the 7 ICE deadly sins, I was a little awkward in the interview.

(interviewer)
“Do you like being creative and doing creative things?”

(colourmist)
“Well, uh, kinda, it depends if..” looks at interviewer, “if time permits that, I am capable of doing design and that is what I do now… I’m just looking for more responsibility.”

(interviewer)
“But do you like doing graphic design, because we could really need another person to help out...”

(colourmist)
“Oh yeah! Totally. I’ve got a portfolio. Would you like me to drop off some samples some time next week?”

(interviewer)
Very excited: “Yes! I’d love to see some samples. Do you have any other hobbies?”

(colourmist)
“Well, I, uh, illustrate, knit, scrapbook, make jewelry, read…”

(interviewer)
“What type of illustration do you do?”

(colourmist)
“Inks, pencils, color on the computer, mostly sketches of people or nature, some caricatures, cartoons…”

Why is it that everyone I interview with LOVES the fact that I am creative except ICE? Does that make sense? I feel like a beaten dog when I try to talk about being creative. Don’t hurt me because I’m creative. I can’t prevent what nature intended me to do. Trust me, I’ve tried.

The interviewer was very excited about everything I said, but was kind of upset about the position. Its entry level and she mentioned that multiple times throughout the interview. I KNOW its entry level. I know that I put that I’m a graphic designer on my resume. I don’t get paid like a graphic designer though. I’m wondering if she knows this.

Of course, it’s not like she couldn’t just look up my salary online. It’s a published document.

The office is very cozy, kind of reminds me of a library. It has cubicles, but everything seems very warm and homey. Not cold and sterile like most cube offices. Well, and the walls are real. I’m very excited about meeting everyone and I hope all goes well.

As usual, at the end of every interview I feel like clinging to the interviewer’s legs and crying. “PLEASE don’t make me go back!! Please!! You don’t know what it’s like over there!” Sadly, I fear this wouldn’t go over well and I wouldn’t get a second interview. So I merely try to put on a chipper face and head back to ICE.

I always have the themesong of the Republic/Empire (star wars) going on in my head when I walk to the ICE building. *sigh*

The ICE Sign

Normally I don’t blog gossip, but this warrants blogging. Yesterday ICE had a class at its main office. ICE just replaced a sign out back that was old, faded, and bent out of shape. The sign is low enough, that even the smallest vehicle can’t see it out the back window when backing up, so it was hit—again.

The individual that hit the sign was a customer. He came inside to let ICE know that he hit the sign. I saw it when I left the building and I didn’t even notice any damage to the sign. I wasn’t specifically looking for damage, but I did look right at the sign.

Anyway, the customer fessed up to his badness and was going to pay to fix whatever it was that he damaged on the sign (a chip of paint or something). Sadly, he confessed to someone who either was Carol or instantly told Carol.

Let it be known that Carol is currently on a SERIOUS Customer Relations Management kick right now. She’s all about pleasing the customers and making the customers happy. A happy customer is easier to keep than replace, right?

So what does she do? She calls the cops to place a report about the customer backing up into the sign. Needless to say, the customer was very upset about Carol calling the cops.

The moral of the story is that Skeksis don’t make good Customer Relations Managers.

Dishwasher Confucius say:

Dishwasher Confucius say:

An ounce of prevention...

is worth clean(er) dishes.

I honestly am beginning to think that she ponders new things to write about dirty dishes while trying to fall asleep at night. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she has a diary titled ‘dishwasher notes’ set on her nightstand.

The Workplace Torture Team

Okay, so it’s a play on words. They’re really called the Workplace Culture Team, but I couldn’t resist. Their mission is to bring happiness and fun and employee contentment to ICE. However, they have one fatal flaw: all the people that have volunteered to be on the team are the least friendly and least nice people and most antisocial individuals you’ve ever met—ever.

Since establishing themselves over a year ago, they’ve managed to do an employee survey (which was mostly ignored), put staff pictures up online, and have two movie days (where you watch movies in the office during your breaktime and eat pizza). I love movie days. I think we should have them once a week—but we haven’t had any in about a year.

At the latest meeting (which I didn’t attend and all my information was filtered via Step-on-me, so it may be slightly exaggerated), they were talking about disbanding the Workplace Torture Team because they felt they’ve met their goals.

I just got an email sent to my email account from IT department addressing me as ‘Clark’, yesterday and they think they’ve met their employee goals of everyone knowing everyone else’s name?

90% of the time people ignore me in the hallways and I have to force conversation in the breakroom, and they think they’ve met their goals of everyone being nice and smiling around the office?

I don’t believe these people are out to help ICE. I think they’re akin to the Grinch species and they suffer from heart sizes that are two sizes too small. I don’t believe that they are out to save the spirit of ICE, but instead would prefer to squash it to smithereens and destroy all hope and enjoyment in the building. Because if they can’t be happy, then why should anyone else?

A confession

A confession.

It was one of those rare moments when you witness something you’ve always wanted to hear. I think it could be categorized with hearing the statement, “I love you,” but, when said instead of saying “OMG! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!” So that the receiver is super excited hearing it, but they know that the message wasn’t truly intended the way it came across.

I’m going to remain stubborn and still consider it an unconscious confession of their sins, though. I only wish Piper and Clark were here to witness it as well.

Step-on-me was ranting forever about working with woman (please note that everyone in the room is currently a woman, and everyone is nodding in agreement except me.) This had to be one of her 30-minute rants. She was complaining about how men were SO MUCH easier to deal with, that they can make a decision, that they don’t care about people’s feelings, and there’s none of this cattiness.

About this point (10 minutes or so into the rant), my brain made an audible click and I’m thinking, but now you’re being catty about the people being catty and gossiping about them behind their backs…

But, you know, none of the rules apply to those that are hypocritical by nature, so…

Then one of the sales ladies chip in, “OMG! And you know there’s none of this rubbing your back with one hand while stabbing you in the back five seconds later!!”

And Step-on-me says, “Yes! I can’t stand that!”

And everyone murmurs in agreement, except me. I’m sitting there with my eyes wide in excitement. Only wishing I had a tape recorder or photographic memory, or just something! I should be taking notes, but that would be too obvious. So I try, pathetically, to hold on to every word—which never works. I have a horrible memory.

So here you have it, a complete confession. The very people that gossip and backstab are admitting that they do it and complaining about doing it. It’s their very nature. They can’t help themselves.

A confession and I’m the only one here to witness it. It’s a shame.

Book Sale: Artistic Endeavors

Book Sale: Artistic Endeavors

There’s one thing I love doing while sitting impatiently with nothing to do and that’s doodle. Clark handed me a piece of paper and we both began doodling. I tend to enjoy drawing caricatures of people in the room with me. First I drew one of the lawyers that was working on the computer across the room—however; she was too far away so I couldn’t get much detail. I threw that one away.

Next I drew Gonzo, but he (being the horribly obnoxious person he is) knew I was drawing him and began to pose. Ugh. I finally had to convince him that I wasn’t drawing him and he left the immediate area. So I lied, sue me. I didn’t want him to see the final result anyway. That would have ruined my fun.




Third I drew Step-on-me, she also kept hovering in my vicinity, so I had to keep my guard up and illustration short. The inspiration would be referenced back to the IM conversation held & posted here recently.




Last, but certainly not least, I drew Carol the Skeksi. Yes, in my mind she looks exactly like this. I had several people walk by and say: creepy, that’s scary, wow, you’re certainly in a Halloween mood, aren’t you? I’d make a sad face after the Halloween comment. With a supervisor like this, it’s Halloween everyday. Only one person placed the reference from The Dark Crystal. I think she stores her gelfling essence in her odd lumps on her hips.



She scares me… she really really scares me. :(

Book Sale Breakdown

Book Sale Breakdown     

I think it’s Step-on-me’s new mission to blame everything on scapegoat Piper, simply because Piper is leaving. She blamed the fact that she brought the wrong signs to the sale on Piper—because Piper obviously just made them ALL WRONG. And Piper can’t get anything right. It wasn’t the fact that Step just packed the wrong signs.

Step-on-me also was too busy gossiping to the sales department to pay attention to the fact that she actually had a customer standing right beside her that wanted to know more about ICE. And to think she calls us Chatty-Cathies. Obnoxious. You know if that was the marketing department (or any other person at ICE) that was too busy talking to pay attention to customers, we’d get reamed up the wazoo. But with her, it’s okay.

Step was also overheard saying loudly to everyone in the room that, “THIS IS MY BOOKSALE” to anyone that had a suggestion about anything. All success goes to her and all failure goes to everyone else. Even the fact that Clark, Piper, and I were astounded that CEO-Lady acknowledged us by name (actual names!!) and commended us for our particular duties (each and everyone identified) was claimed by Step-on-me with a, “Well, I basically drafted the email for her to send. That’s the only reason she said it.” So, what we thought was CEO-Lady’s mistake on identifying the wrong duties to the wrong people was actually Step-on-me’s mistake (unforgivable because she directly manages the marketing department) and not CEO-Lady’s mistake (forgivable because she’s not supposed to be involved in the marketing department).

So aside from being a gossip hound, claiming everything successful for her own, and blaming everything wrong on everyone else, she also did something particularly ICE-ish.

I’ve got to set this one up right, or you won’t understand.

Step-on-me frequently complains about people being melodramatic at ICE. About how they freak out over everything and run around like spooked sheep. Mindless beings—idiots—as it were. We took several cars to set up for the Book Sale, and a couple was going back to HQ empty. Most of the cars were packed with stuff for the sale, but they weren’t packed very well. There was a lot of extra room floating around in the vehicle I took—enough so that I was worried about a box flying up from the back of the car and bashing myself or the driver in the head.

Step-on-me spent a majority of the afternoon at the sale harassing the staff there about how we weren’t going to have enough room for all our stuff. That somebody might have to be left behind! That we didn’t have any room because she didn’t want anything in her vehicle and she didn’t want staff unloading anything at ICE when we got back! OMG!! Freakout!!

So you see, Step spent most of the book sale freaking out about something stupid, and then she sent me and another coworker back home early with an empty vehicle. How does this make sense? One second she’s acting like the idiots she always complains about, and then she’s sending people home in an empty car. What the hell is wrong with this woman??

While Step was freaking out, I would isolate one coworker at a time and ask them why Step was freaking out. Was this really a problem? Everyone seemed horribly annoyed by Step—almost as if she does this all the time.

Does this make Step-on-me a ‘hector-projector’--a person that, instead of admitting their own fault, projects their feelings onto others and blame them for being idiotic in order to settle their own hectic feelings?

Piper gets employed by non-demons

Piper gets employed by non-demons

Yep, she no longer works for the demonic ICE. So that 0% salary increase that she got for no pre-warned reason, it’s now a 33% salary increase. Nice, huh? I want a 33% salary increase.

She’s working for a tech-oriented firm in downtown. Step-on-me keeps acting like she was expecting it—just not right now. That’s about as vague as saying “well, I expect it to rain—just not right now.” Hell! She has told all of us that she knows we aren’t going to stay with ICE forever. So technically she’s expecting ALL of us to leave—just not right now.

Ugh.

I really hope Clark & I find new employment soon. That way we’ll be able to enjoy the holidays without getting depressed about going back to ICE. That would be the bestest Christmas EVER!

And hopefully this happens before Step-on-me finds out about my little hole here in the world. The sales department has already leaked information to Step about my secret covert operation here, and Step has mentioned that we should have a blog about our marketing antics. If you’re looking for this place in the near future and get an error message—you know what happened.

Piper’s last day is this Friday (11/4). We’re taking her out for dinner tonight and Step has some plan for cake & farewells tomorrow. One last chance for torture before she escapes; it’s the ICE way.

Freezer Abusers Beware!

Freezer Abusers Beware:

From: Secretary-lady
To: All Staff
Subject: Freezer

Please remember to bring in one frozen dinner per day to leave in the freezer.  With all of the events happening at ICE, we cannot store a week's worth of frozen meals in the freezer.  There is simply not enough room with the ice we need for events.  Please do not abuse this privilege.    

Ya bastards! And stop leaving your damn 2-liters in the fridge for months on end! How can I store my SAM’s Club value-pak of Yogurt in there if you’re using a whole shelf?? Geeze.