To be a graphic designer...

ICE posted a position for a Graphic Designer and a temporary marketing assistant in the newspaper a few weeks ago. This was shortly after I got my new title of Desktop Publisher Intermediate. The Graphic Designer’s job description looks exactly like my resume, yet it pays 5,000 more a year and has twice as much vacation time.

As much as I despise ICE, getting the title I deserve, twice as much vacation, and 5k more a year would be a nice stepping stone in the company. That’s not to say that I’m going to discontinue looking for a new job. I’m still miserable, I’d just be miserable with twice as much vacation.

So I apply for the position and the very next day Step-on-me approaches me and says she has good news. I’m thinking, “Yay! New job title with more monies!”

Step-on-me then says, “because you’ve been accepting new responsibilities with such a good mood (aka doing all Piper’s work) and have ‘blossomed’—as Carol puts it—as a graphic designer, we’re giving you a 3% raise, effective immediately.”

Needless to say, I’m confused. I mean, I can’t help but be happy, but I’m still confused. Why would I get a raise? I didn’t ask for a raise? Do they not want me to apply for the Graphic Designer position? Is this their way of appeasing me so I don’t throw a fit when they don’t give me the new postion?

So I’m grumpy the rest of the week. Fake-nice to Step-on-me, of course, but what the Hell, it’s Christmas, right? Still I’m put through the torture of having to entertain and help the applicants for the new Graphic Designer position as they toil away for three to five hours on a work sample. One lady is a total grump and complains about the keyboard, mouse, and the new mouse when I ask IT over to switch out her peripherals.

I make sure to discredit all the applicants if I have the slightest problem with them. Actually, it turns out that the few people I didn’t have a problem with, Step-on-me had problems with them.

A few days into the testing, Step-on-me asks me into her office. “Colormist, I just received your name on my list for the Graphic Designer position. I really didn’t know you were interested and I wanted you to know I wasn’t ignoring you.”

Oddly enough, this speech is sounding very familiar to a speech I received from Step when I applied for Piper’s position before Piper was hired.

“When did you apply for the job?” Step inquires.

“Oh, it was back a few days before you gave me the raise.” I’m almost positive the implications of her giving me a raise shortly after I had applied are sinking in. “I’m sure they’re just slow getting the applications into the system.”
“Well, I wanted to let you know that I’m not ignoring you and I’ll have you take the work sample some time next week, okay?”

“Yeah okay.” This would be the same work sample that I helped Step devise for the applicants. The very same processes that I helped create and do on a daily basis, I now have to prove that I know how to do. This should be interesting…

Honestly, this has turned out to be more of fun mind-game with Step-on-me than an actual attempt to get this position.

coffee cup

From: xxxx
To: All Staff
Subject: coffee cup

I am missing my favorite coffee cup.  It is light brown, has a shopping list on one side and three small x's on the other.  I've had it for ten years and don't want to lose it now.

Please return.

---

Advice to all work cup obsessors. This isn’t that hard to understand. Don’t put it in the dishwasher, wash it yourself.

The S-Clone Wars

“Oh that’s lame.” She pauses, and then adds, “well, I mean, pizza when you could go out for a nice dinner? Well, what am I thinking! You young people are only concerned about alcohol.” Everyone nods in agreement except Clark & myself. We cast small glances toward one another. The person she’s chastising is acting in agreement with her, but I’m pretty sure she was hurt by the entire fumblingly rude statement.

No, it’s not Step-on-me, but rather her evolving clone. S-Clone, as I like to call her here recently. She’s crass without caring about another’s feelings and continuingly asks about my blog. Yes, this one that I could quite possibly be fired for writing. She asks the address, and I let her know (kindly) that nobody knows where it is except one coworker and a lot of ex-coworkers.

I’m sure that S-Clone is the one that leaked the existence of this blog to Step-on-me. Step-on-me recently made a remark that we should keep a blog of the things we have to put up with in the marketing department. Now, Step-on-me is not one to ever had HAVE a blog, yet alone one to ever want to write extensively about problems with her life in a blog. I’m surprised she even knew what one was. The leak came from the sales department, who know about the blog but don’t know where to find it. Course, this probably makes them more of my enemy than my ally, even if we were comrades before.

My instant (paranoid) assumption would be that the person that won’t reveal a blog’s location must certainly be blogging about me, in this case they would be correct (finally).

S-Clone a bit of a bully and can frequently be found gossiping with Step-on-me--a pair of Chatty-cathies if I’ve ever seen’em. She was tormenting the heck out of Piper, wanting to know where her new job was. Piper wasn’t up to revealing the location at the time, but S-Clone had her cornered (literally). So Piper mumbled out something unintelligible so that S-Clone would let her pass.

S-Clone's exceeding negativity tends to get on everyone's nerves. Not only is she super-active and better than you in all respects, but she has something to grump about every damn morning. Kinda like a Debbie Downer, but a PMS-y bitched-out Debbie Downer. If you placed S-Clone in a room with my excessively evil grandmother, I'm sure they'd get along perfectly fine in the time they were together. But as soon as they part ways, they'd have nothing positive to say about one another. Meh.

S-Clone’s recently bought a couple, few, lots of iPods. One goes missing and she rants about her cleaning lady stealing it. I never heard back about the missing iPod, so I presume she was wrong. She also complains about Christmas and having to visit relatives. She doesn’t want to exchange gifts anymore and doesn’t want to cook.

Hell, if she doesn’t want to do it anymore, stop bitching about it and just stop celebrating it. I don’t give a rat’s ass what the hell you do, I just don’t want to hear about it for a half-hour in my morning meetings anymore. And if you do bitch about something petty, surely it’s going to end up in my blog.