Scarred

Author: Colormist

I thought I’d post a little update now that I’ve escaped the clutches of ICE.

ICLE has scarred me. I’m like that abused dog you see in the street. I flinch when I hear certain words, when people ask me to do things, and I have nightmares about that place.

I’ve had pretty consistent nightmares about ICE since my escape. The dreams usually consist of me stopping back on my lunch break to visit Mavvy and Sharpie (even though I know Sharpie’s no longer there) and being held against my will by Stepzilla. I keep saying out loud that I had to get back to my job. Stepzilla gives me piles of work to finish and I’m told that I’m not allowed to leave until they’re finished. I looked pleadingly at Hasselhoff, but he just says, “Just do what she tells you.” Needless to say, these dreams usually end with me losing my job, Stepzilla hiring me back, firing me, then (of course) I lose my home.

I’m also having a bit of a knee-jerk reaction to doing work at my new job. I mean, I do the work and I like the work, but every time someone asks me to do something, I think they’re punishing me.

Then there are these certain words that make me want to yell in protest. Normal words like, “creativity”, “designer”, “pretty”, and “marketing”.

I overhead someone say, “we can get Marketing to do…” and I just about screamed in protest. It was in a meeting that I wasn’t even a part of, and I just about started arguing about a department doing work—a department that I’m not even a part of.

Then I wince when I hear the word pretty. I’m expecting it as an insult, but they mean it as a compliment. I presume they’re very confused when I give a wounded look and/or look of hatred.

People also use the word “creativity” and “design” in positive context. They aren’t spitting venom and glaring at me like I’m an idiot. They actually talk in a general basis and refer that EVERYONE in the building has creativity.

It’s been two months and still I’m reacting like I work for Stepzilla and the Skeksi. It amazing. Even though I knew what was happening and what they were doing, I still can’t shake the abuse.

In other news, my mom read HOPE (this blog in book format) and said she laughed out loud quite a few times. My misery brings others amusement. I guess that’s somewhat comforting.

Happy Birthday Hasselhoff

Today is Hasselhoff's birthday. A crappy, rainy birthday spent at ICE. How depressing. Of course Stepzilla tries to throw together a last minute "celebration" to make it look like she actually cares about anyone but herself. She comes in late and yells from her doorway for Sparklehorse (formerly know as Temp) and I to come in to her office. Oh shit, what did I do this time? Did she find a job description on the printer? Has IS intercepted one of our exceedingly negative Messenger conversations? No, she wants us to sign a card for Hasselhoff. Whew!

The card has a little yellow puppy on the front, about to jump into a pond to go after a fishing bobber. Kinda cute, but obviously not a birthday card. Looks like something she fished out of the bottom of a desk drawer in a panic that it might look like she forgot YET ANOTHER of her employees' birthdays. She brings the card, along with a plate of about five bagels (no cream cheese of course) into the office and presents them to Hasselhoff. I'm guessing she found the bagels somewhere in the building, perhaps leftover from a recent Executive Committee meeting.

Step says she would have gone to Fragels?? this morning but she was already running late. Then Toronto chimes in, "Yeah, plus it's only your first year, you haven't earned Fragels yet!" Well at least Hasselhoff's birthday was acknowledged. She completely forgot about Sharpie's, and then about a month and a half later gave her a card, some Halloween socks covered in dog hair, and several pairs of earrings WITHOUT the backer. For those of you who don't know this - earrings without the backer = used earrings. You just don't take new earrings off the backer before you give them to someone. And she never said a word about my birthday, which took place in November. Maybe she thinks I don't have one. Truth be told, I'm glad she didn't give me some stupid gift in order to feel better about herself. "Hey Mavvy, I know I degrade you daily, take credit for all your work, and generally treat you like a piece of shit, but look, I remembered your birthday! See what a great boss I am? See??"

Stepzilla's antics are enough to drive anyone insane, which is why as soon as I am settled in my new house, I will begin job searching again in earnest. The worse part of ICE these days is that I am the only one left who truly cannot stand Stepzilla. I'm hopeful that Sparklehorse and Hasselhoff will one day come to despise her as I do - I guess they just need time. It reminds me a bit of a bumper sticker I saw (referring to George Dubya):

"If you're not outraged, then you haven't been paying attention."

Is Stepzilla trying to escape?

When I came into work this morning, I was greeted with the glorious news that Stepzilla would be out today! If it wasn't for our excruciatingly boring project management meeting, the week would have been off to a perfect start. Normally I don't question Stepzilla's absence, I just revel in every moment she is not there to criticize, demand, dictate, and demean. However, I am starting to get a bit suspicious about her recent departures and I think she may be trying to escape! Last week she came in to the office abruptly and told us she was leaving at 12 pm. No explanation, no nothing. The most telling part was that sales had no idea why she was leaving either. Step usually at least bothers to tell sales where she's going. And then on Friday she said she would be out until 12 because she had a doctor's appointment. But when I came in, I had the following email in my inbox:


"Good morning everyone. Hope you had a good weekend. I was going to be out until this afternoon but I'm still not feeling great. I'd prefer to spend the afternoon at home. I will be working on things from here so feel free to e-mail me..."

Thanks,

Stepzilla

Several things about this email bother me. First of all, she's still not feeling well?? She said last week the reason she was taking the morning off was for a doctor's appointment, not because she wasn't feeling well. If she was so sick, why wasn't she out Thursday or Friday? I also think that if you are well enough to work from home, then you should be able to work from work.

Anyway, the thought of Stepzilla escaping begs the question...would I stay at ICLE if she was gone? Maybe for about $20K more per year, and an office with a window...

Sharpie's Last Day

Hey guys, it's me, Mavvy. Colormist and Sharpie have bestowed the honor of contributing to the sacred blog upon me. Which is a pretty big deal, considering that when I first started Colormist was convinced I was in cahoots with Stepzilla. ;)

Today was Sharpie's farewell lunch, organized by none other than Stepzilla herself. Since Sharpie couldn't have cared less about the affair, it was decided by the sales ladies and Stepzilla that we would go to Macaroni Grill. When Sharpie and I arrived at the restaurant, Step and Tinkerbell were seated at one end of a very long table and had written our names in crayon at two places on the opposite end of said table. Well, at least we all agree that we can't stand one another.

Others in attendance included Hasselhoff, Katy, several of Sharpie's friends from productions, and a few random guests that Sharpie had barely interacted with during her time at ICE. Part of me wanted to sit near Stepzilla just so I could hear her going on and on about her house, her garden, her idiot husband, and her neurotic dogs who can't even be kept in the same room together.

Highlights of the lunch for me included:

• Overhearing Stepzilla talk about her recent purchase of a flat screen TV - "...and my idiot husband wanted to buy a 30" TV. And I was like oh no, if we're going to buy a flat screen it's got to be at least 50". I mean, who buys a flat screen TV and doesn't get the biggest one they make?? OMG you guys, isn't that so retarded?"

• Tink and Step taking pictures of eachother with their phones and giggling like 13 year-old girls. Oh, and did I mention they have the SAME phone!?!? Only difference is that Tinkerbell's has a hideously ugly flower cover on it.

• Stepzilla abruptly announcing to everyone when we were finished eating (mostly to people that she does NOT supervise) that it was time for us to be getting back to the office.

Sharpie is back at the office for only a couple of hours before she gets to leave ICE forever. She is helping to "train" her replacement who I shall call "Temp" for now. If she gets a permanent position I suppose I will have to come up with a suitable name for her. Anyway, after today I will be the most senior member of the marketing department, having endured eleven months of hellish torture. The good news is that I have at least one interview next week, and hopefully another that will be scheduled shortly. Nothing would please me more than to leave Stepzilla with yet another open position to fill. Do you suppose upper management would FINALLY start to question her managerial capability if her entire team bailed within 2 months of eachother??? God let's hope so...

home again home again... jiggity jog

Stepzilla planned a "going away" lunch for me. Appropriate since I don't eat like that any more. It's suppose to be this Friday. She sent out an all staff email this morning with the details. She put the WRONG date on it. She sent it for lunch today instead. Wonder if anybody is waiting at the restaurant for us... Mavvy and I are certain she is going to blame it on groupwise since she NEVER makes mistakes. Ahhh, to be a fly on the wall next week after I leave. She had me fix a clipping path today. She couldn't figure that one out. Man has she got a handle on the software...ought to be an easy transition for her. New temp coming in Friday. She was breathing. She is overly qualified if you ask me. If she has a soul, she won't last. I hope for her sake she doesn't have one. Otherwise she should check it at the front desk like the rest of us did to survive. I have a whole other list of projects Stepzilla would like completed before I go. Not happening. I have a "dentist" appointment in the morning. I am afraid it will be far to painful to return to work afterwards. And my dentist appointment doesn't return to the Detroit airport until 10:40 am Friday. Just in time for "lunch". Should be interesting. I told her I didnt think I would be able to do "lunch" and get all of my work done. She said, "It's your last day. Don't worry about it". Then why did she give me the list at all? Psycho. Here's to Mavvy and Hasselhoff... hang in there. Your time is coming. There is hope....peace y'all!

To: Stepzilla
From: Sharpie
Date: April 3, 2007
Subject: Resignation
*********************************
Dear Stepzilla,
It’s with a happy heart that I am submitting my written notice of resignation from ICE effective one week from today. That's all you get. And if I had it my way... you wouldn't get that. My last day will be 4/13/06. Suck that, bitches! (sorry colormist, I just had to.)
Interviewing has been such a fun creative thing to do here lately. Coming up with new "appointments" not being the least of the creative process. But I was driven and determined to find something else since that has to be what you so obviously wanted. I mean no one on this earth could be as petty and self centered without wanting your employees to quit. No one could sleep at night with the degradation you heap upon us without an ulterior motive. Thanks so much for always encouraging me to find a new job in that wonderfully unique way of yours. My experience at ICE has been demeaning, miserable, destructive, abusive, and enlightening. I finally understand what all narcissism involves. And I only wish my voodoo doll actually worked. (again, thanks colormist. I couldn't have said it better myself.) Enjoy filling all these lovely, vacant, designer spots here in your department! I hope soon you have one more to fill... fingers still crossed for Mavvy!
Bite me,
Sharpie

there is a god and she rocks

So, I was thinking I could just copy and paste for this entry... but alas I will try to be original. Nah I can't I wanna use the "suck that bitches" line that colormist used. Man o man I have wanted to use that one for so long and now I can. I am the proud owner of a NEW JOB folks! Back in the state more southern where there is no snow in April. Back where there is no step monster or skeski to degrade me daily. Back where people are nice and say thank you and appreciate my creativity. I am so happy I can't see straight! Resignation letter to follow... WEEEEEEEE!