The Mushrump

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Stepzilla's Performance Review

So, I got to do a performance review for Stepzilla this year. For awhile, I debated on whether I should do it or not. After all, others have given her poor reviews in the past and it doesn't seem to make a bit of difference. I decided I should just go for it. As Sharpie pointed out, we all know what she's saying about us to everyone in the building so why not return the favor? Anyway, here it is. Let's hope it doesn't get me fired.

Performance Review – Stepzilla

Changes that would help me operate more efficiently:

One thing that would help me greatly would be for Stepzilla to have a more positive attitude toward ICE and the rest of the people that work here. I have heard her make disparaging remarks about nearly everyone in the building; people that I have gotten to know and like very much. I would also appreciate if she would think before making statements that might offend members of her department. I was very put off by statements she made regarding her disdain for Christianity.

Another area that would really help me to have more respect for Stepzilla as a leader would be for her to hold herself to the same standards she holds her staff. Several months ago, she moved our daily meeting up to 8:15 am, rather than 8:30 am. If any of the department members were even five minutes late, they would receive a very strongly worded email about how we NEED to be on time for the meetings. However, if Stepzilla is ever late, the meeting can be put off until 8:30 or 8:45, or whenever she comes over to our office.

Stepzilla should also work on creating an atmosphere that is not threatening or dictatorial. I feel like no matter how hard I work, she will always find something miniscule for which to berate me. I work in constant fear of what she will bring up next. The most difficult part of this is that Stepzilla makes mistakes too, all the time. She, however, never admits to them. She is never wrong. It is incredibly difficult to work in this type of an atmosphere.

Changes that would help ICE


I really feel like Stepzilla should work on the aforementioned changes to help the Institute. It might benefit her to attend training on how to manage people more empathetically or just general training on people skills. I don’t think she really understands how she comes off to her staff. She definitely needs someone to bring it to her attention.

I know for a fact that recent turnover in the marketing department was due solely to the inability to work with Stepzilla. I think that if she does not work to become a better leader, ICE will continue to lose talented marketing staff.


There was another category that I was supposed to include, "Things I appreciate". Obviously I had to omit that one, since the only thing I appreciate about Stepzilla is when she's sick or on vacation.

I think Debbie may be blind

So...I'm starting to think that Debbie, CEO lady's secretary, may be legally blind. It all started one day when she asked if the chick on the Winter Book Sale postcard was me. I told her it wasn't and she responded that she really thought it was me, she couldn't believe it wasn't. The girl on the postcard looks nothing like me. The only similarity is that we both have straight, medium length, brown hair.

Exhibit two: I overheard Debbie and Stepzilla in the hallway today discussing what they were going to order for today's meeting of the "lunch-bunch". I must add that Stepzilla has taken to hanging out with Debbie and the older ladies in the business office. Having alienated everyone in marketing and sales, she had to look elsewhere for people who would listen to her bitch about her idiot husband and talk endlessly about herself. Stepzilla commented that she was going to "use up like 100 points!" for today's luncheon. (I presume she's on Weight Watcher's?) Anyway Debbie commented on how ridiculous it was that Stepzilla should be concerned about what she was eating when she was already tall and skinny. She then went on to tell Stepzilla how they all just hated her because she dresses so cute and can wear whatever she wants.

OMG! I wanted to jump out of my desk and just grab Debbie and shake her. Doesn't she know that feeding this evil creature's ego will only make it continue to grow out of control? And dressing cute? Stepzilla? Maybe if Debbie's definition of cute is knee high transvestite boots, pants that are ALWAYS too short, and excessive amounts of jewelry. To me it looks like she closes her eyes, reaches in her closet, and puts on whatever she pulls out. I also wouldn't call Stepzilla skinny. Grossly disproportionate yes, skinny no.

Anyway, if I was Debbie I would be consulting my physician about possible loss of vision. Maybe even senility. ICE can do that to you...