Happy Birthday Hasselhoff
Today is Hasselhoff's birthday. A crappy, rainy birthday spent at ICE. How depressing. Of course Stepzilla tries to throw together a last minute "celebration" to make it look like she actually cares about anyone but herself. She comes in late and yells from her doorway for Sparklehorse (formerly know as Temp) and I to come in to her office. Oh shit, what did I do this time? Did she find a job description on the printer? Has IS intercepted one of our exceedingly negative Messenger conversations? No, she wants us to sign a card for Hasselhoff. Whew!
The card has a little yellow puppy on the front, about to jump into a pond to go after a fishing bobber. Kinda cute, but obviously not a birthday card. Looks like something she fished out of the bottom of a desk drawer in a panic that it might look like she forgot YET ANOTHER of her employees' birthdays. She brings the card, along with a plate of about five bagels (no cream cheese of course) into the office and presents them to Hasselhoff. I'm guessing she found the bagels somewhere in the building, perhaps leftover from a recent Executive Committee meeting.
Step says she would have gone to Fragels?? this morning but she was already running late. Then Toronto chimes in, "Yeah, plus it's only your first year, you haven't earned Fragels yet!" Well at least Hasselhoff's birthday was acknowledged. She completely forgot about Sharpie's, and then about a month and a half later gave her a card, some Halloween socks covered in dog hair, and several pairs of earrings WITHOUT the backer. For those of you who don't know this - earrings without the backer = used earrings. You just don't take new earrings off the backer before you give them to someone. And she never said a word about my birthday, which took place in November. Maybe she thinks I don't have one. Truth be told, I'm glad she didn't give me some stupid gift in order to feel better about herself. "Hey Mavvy, I know I degrade you daily, take credit for all your work, and generally treat you like a piece of shit, but look, I remembered your birthday! See what a great boss I am? See??"
Stepzilla's antics are enough to drive anyone insane, which is why as soon as I am settled in my new house, I will begin job searching again in earnest. The worse part of ICE these days is that I am the only one left who truly cannot stand Stepzilla. I'm hopeful that Sparklehorse and Hasselhoff will one day come to despise her as I do - I guess they just need time. It reminds me a bit of a bumper sticker I saw (referring to George Dubya):
"If you're not outraged, then you haven't been paying attention."
The card has a little yellow puppy on the front, about to jump into a pond to go after a fishing bobber. Kinda cute, but obviously not a birthday card. Looks like something she fished out of the bottom of a desk drawer in a panic that it might look like she forgot YET ANOTHER of her employees' birthdays. She brings the card, along with a plate of about five bagels (no cream cheese of course) into the office and presents them to Hasselhoff. I'm guessing she found the bagels somewhere in the building, perhaps leftover from a recent Executive Committee meeting.
Step says she would have gone to Fragels?? this morning but she was already running late. Then Toronto chimes in, "Yeah, plus it's only your first year, you haven't earned Fragels yet!" Well at least Hasselhoff's birthday was acknowledged. She completely forgot about Sharpie's, and then about a month and a half later gave her a card, some Halloween socks covered in dog hair, and several pairs of earrings WITHOUT the backer. For those of you who don't know this - earrings without the backer = used earrings. You just don't take new earrings off the backer before you give them to someone. And she never said a word about my birthday, which took place in November. Maybe she thinks I don't have one. Truth be told, I'm glad she didn't give me some stupid gift in order to feel better about herself. "Hey Mavvy, I know I degrade you daily, take credit for all your work, and generally treat you like a piece of shit, but look, I remembered your birthday! See what a great boss I am? See??"
Stepzilla's antics are enough to drive anyone insane, which is why as soon as I am settled in my new house, I will begin job searching again in earnest. The worse part of ICE these days is that I am the only one left who truly cannot stand Stepzilla. I'm hopeful that Sparklehorse and Hasselhoff will one day come to despise her as I do - I guess they just need time. It reminds me a bit of a bumper sticker I saw (referring to George Dubya):
"If you're not outraged, then you haven't been paying attention."
posted by Anonymous at
8:40 AM
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