My Little Skeksi

Everyone needs a Skeksi as their HR liaison. I mean, Skeksis, as a species are two-faced, backstabbing, greedy, self-centered, power hungry monsters! That's practically the 5th definition of "HR".

Restructuring is our game

About a year ago, when the first of the new classification system began, ICE began losing staff like dead flies. I'd say about one a month. Instead of hiring new staff to cover these holes, ICE (being the slowest of the slow in hiring new employees) the 'visionary heads' decided that we should restructure to handle the work load. We lost a department here, consolidated departments there, fired people here, moved staff there.

After about a year of restructuring every three months or so, I have no idea who does what. Carol thinks that everyone should know how to do everyone else's job. Marketing should know sales, reception, and customer service. Publications should know classes, and conferences. Basically, everyone should know how to do everyone elses job as well as their own. That way, if they lose more staff or decide to fire people at random, then they'll easily know of someone to cover that person's job until they decide to hire someone to do that job a year & a half later.

Cool, huh?

I think so too! It rawks!! I'm totally confused!! It's like starting a new job everyday!!

Well, until we recently were given our new job titles (see earlier posts), Marketing was left to it's own devices. Sure, we had to learn some additional job duties, but we weren't really reassigned or reorganized. Nothing major, until this week. I'm sure I'll post more when I actually receive my review this week.

Anyway, Step-on-me says in our morning meeting that we're doing some shuffling of duties. That our workload is going to be reorganized to more closely match our job descriptions! Wow! So I won't be able to bitch to HR about my actual job matching my job title! Imagine that!

So yes. I'm going to predict the future now and say that my new job duties are going to be:
1.) flyers and copy+paste functions
2.) binder covers*
3.) calendar

*I'm not to sure about this one, it might require too much 'design' work. Which I am CLEARLY incapable of doing because of my new title. This is regardless of the fact that I am currently designing a 24 page catalog FROM SCRATCH. In one week, I will be incapable of performing such a function.

I don't think I'm going to be able to do mailing lists anymore. I mean, access and word are not a part of my job description, and I technically don't even require a high school degree to have my position. I definitely shouldn't be doing any more of the conference brochures as they require some intelligence, accuracy, and diligence--which is clearly not a part of my job description.

I'm not keeping my fingers crossed.

Royal Screwing

Not that anyone cares (aside from myself), but I think it's good to document certain qualms about your job so that you keep motivated in looking for new employment. So, here we have my screw over with my job reclassification.


My current job description as it appeared online and the job I was hired to do:

Job Title: Asst. Editor
Duties: To produce promotional materials on desktop publishing equipment, including editing copy for style, content, and organization and to generate mailing lists using a database. To provide administrative support for the department.
Qualifications: Bachelor's degree in an appropriate field or an equivalent combination of education and experience is required. Proficiency in QuarkXpress and PC programs for Windows, including Microsoft Office is required. Reasonable experience in editorial, marketing, and advertising work is required. Excellent written and oral communication skills and the ability to work well with others and in teams are required.


My new job description as it appears online (this being the lowest of the low on the totem pole--does not require a High School diploma):

Job Title: Desktop Publisher Associate
Duties & Qualifications: Under direct supervision, responsible for producing computer-generated graphic-design for communication materials. Imports graphic images and integrates with text. Requires knowledge and training of desktop publishing applications (i.e., PageMaker, Quark Xpress, Freehand, Illustrator, etc.). May operate digital scanner and edit graphic images. Typically requires a high school education or equivalent and specialized training in desktop publishing software. Typically requires less than two years of experience.


The potential job titles I could have received, in lowest to highest order:

Job Title: Desktop Publisher Intermediate
Duties & Qualifications: Under general supervision, responsible for producing computer-generated graphic-design for communication materials. Creates graphic images and integrates with text. Requires in-depth knowledge and training of desktop publishing applications, (i.e., PageMaker, Quark Xpress, Freehand, Illustrator, etc.). Operates digital scanner and edits graphic images. Capable of manipulating text and graphics to accommodate a wide range of design specifications. Typically requires a high school education or equivalent with specialized training in desktop publishing software and two to four years of experience.

Job Title: Desktop Publisher Senior
Duties & Qualifications: Under general direction, responsible for producing computer-generated graphic-design for communication materials. Imports graphic images and integrates with text. Requires knowledge and/or training of desktop publishing applications (i.e., PageMaker, Quark Xpress, Freehand, Illustrator, etc.). Manipulates text and graphics to accommodate a wide range of design specifications. Typically requires five to seven years of desktop publishing experience.

Job Title: Graphic Designer
Duties & Qualifications: Creates original designs and executes the artwork for publications. Conceptualizes design layout of finished art for reproduction and coordinates final production of finished product with printing department. Requires a bachelor's degree in commercial art or equivalent plus 2-3 years' experience in creative art work. The employees work requires intelligence, diligence and accuracy with the individual having broad leeway to develop an original work product.


Oddly enough, the highest ranked job requires INTELLIGENCE. Damn, and to think I've actually been using my brain these past two years. And why the hell does my job description require a Bachelor degree when only the designer position requires a 4-year degree??

I'm disgruntled, I know it

However, I have noticed a recent turn about in my attitude--mainly because I'm actively looking for a new job. I think looking outside of corporate is helping. Sure, it'd be nice if I could stay with the same cushy-bens and time-off, but the economy is CRAP. Nobody really wants designers and marketing professionals when they're losing customers left & right.

Anyway, I've broadened my horizons. Google might be nice to work for, or Toyota... but I don't know how long it will take them to build in this area (as they've promised) so I'm not going to sit around, inches away from smacking the next jerk that comes into the office asking for something at the last second.

I actually think this odd emotional direction I've taken is similar to 'giving up all hope'. I don't care about ICE. I don't care if I screw up. SURE! Blame your failure on me! I don't care! It's not going to be resolved and I'm not going to listen to you, so do whatever makes you feel better about yourself! :D

That being said, and still clinging onto the loose hope that I might actually be able to get a better title before I leave, Piper spent the past couple of days trying to track down the person above Carol. It took a few polite "NOs" before the coorespondant decided to give us a name aside from Carol.

Carol is the LOVELY person who handled everyones' reclassification. Oddly enough, we all ended up with titles that don't reflect what we do. Hell, my job description doesn't even require intelligence, dilligence, or accuracy. You know, if they want me to act like an idiot, I'm all for it! I'm very tempted to just simply wander around the building and ask people pointless questions. Afterall, my job only requires a high school degree now and to think they wouldn't hire me until I had my BA! But apparently I only know how to press *ctrl+c* *ctrl+v*--anything else pretty much requires me to ask 10 people many questions.

Carol is also the person who doesn't understand why people should have benefits or go to doctors, AND she's our HR representative. Now tell me, would you want someone who thinks you SHOULDN'T go to a doctor when you're sick to be your HR person? And I really love it how she lectures me when I get carpal tunnel for having a shitty computer setup. I just start noticing my wrist hurts, I get a brace, talk to my boss, then I get a 20-minute lecture on how I'm using my computer wrong.

Thank you, God for sticking the worst possible person as my Human Resources go-to. Not everyone has the opportunity to have a skeksi

as their department HR person.

*waves*

93 profile views, huh? I never thought I was that interesting. Course, I do recognize the fact that anywhere to 10-25% of those views are my own--but that's still around 70 that I didn't do myself.

I'd appreciate it if you AT LEAST said hi, if you do stalk me. Through casual conversation, I've notice that a few people (and husbands, coworkers, and friends of people) that I didn't think actually read my blog--do visit it more than I thought they did.

I think I'm confusing myself. I really wish Blogger had better statistics or something.

Anyway, I wanted to say thanks for reading through my rants. I know I have issues (both at work and in my personal life) and I am partially to blame for some of them. But I do appreciate my anonymous viewers. Thanks for taunting me about my horrible dish-washer photography skills and starting up random converstations about my obsessive bosses. You always confuse the heck out of me and I end up wondering how the hell you know so much about my private life in the first place. :P

Keep reading and I'll keep posting. ^_~

It's an epidemic

An editor stood in the marketing office doorway... just staring as people who want something normally do. I turn around, smile slightly, and turn back to my computer.

She's still looking at me and says, "Um, Clark, I was looking for..."

I interrupt and point to Clark, "that's Clark," and turn back to my computer.

Apologies abound. "Oh! Colormist! I know your name is Colormist! I'm sorry!! I don't know why I said, "Clark."

Sadly, I actually liked this editor, but she slipped a notch. Everyone slips a notch in my book when they can't get my name straight. Meh.

----

Then, later, Clark is talking to the business office. Friendly chatter trying to soften her appearance as mean (which is why she didn't get the marketing manager promotion--supposedly). Mole comes up to Clark and starts talking about 'Colormist' and how she has a story about 'Colormist.'

Clark looks all confused. Is Mole's relative named Colormist? Finally Clark says, "Um, I'm Clark?"

Mole, all flustered, makes excuses for herself, "Well, you know, your names are so SIMILAR."

Clark, "no, they're not."

Mole, "and you work in the same office."

Clark, "you don't confuse Piper with either of us."

Just further proof that I work with oblivious ignoramouses. Don't make excuses for your inability to get a name straight.

Clark is not happy

Clark is very not-so-much happy.

ICE & Corporate reclassified everyone's job descriptions today. I'm no longer the Assistant Editor of lore (oh how I loved explaining that story), but instead I am now a Desktop Publishing Associate. I think my previous title had more prestige, but whatever. At least it's slightly more accurate.

Piper is no longer a Computer Systems Specialist I (who actually did design for print & web), but rather a Graphic Artist. She's cozy with it.

Clark, however, isn't all that happy. He's disgruntled enough to make him leave work shortly after hearing the news and go on lunch break. He didn't speak word of the news in the brief minute that he was at his desk. Also, his paper with his new title was all crumpled up in his hand.

Oh, hell! I'm not even happy. I think I'm in shock more than anything. How they hell do they expect us to be happy when receiving a demoted title?? Here's your demotion! Good luck finding another job with a title like that! Wheee!

Needless to say, Carol (head of HR) seemed as pleased as pie with the results. I had to stop myself from yelling at her multiple times during the meeting. OF COURSE YOU'RE HAPPY! You got what you WANT! *flings bagel*

I find myself less & less concerned with business at ICE, customer satisfaction, and any business ventures. Meh, why should I care? If I do care and something flops, it just gets blamed on my department (regardless of how rational). It's not like any problems are going to get solved by pushing the blame on my department.

Whatever. I'm sprucing up my resume.

(which could quite possibly mean the end of my chaotic ICE banter.)