Year End Review

Every year at ICE we have these stupid self-reviews we have to type up to set goals for ourselves for the next year. Stepzilla doesn’t care about the reviews. She thinks they’re pointless. I’ve been trying to write my review for weeks, but didn’t get a chance until now (a month late). I was consulting Sharpie what to write about, as I really don’t care. Nor do I have anything I’m actually proud of.

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1. What 2-3 accomplishments are you most proud of this year? • Making a unique Stepzilla voodoo doll for each marketing employee to enact their frustration upon without getting fired.

• Managing my time so that Stepzilla THINKS that I’m being productive or overburdened, while actually just playing games half of the day.

• Pulling in a freelance job so that I can actually make a living wage.

2. What was your biggest challenge this year?

• Not bitch-slapping Stepzilla in the face when she makes some snide sarcastic comment meant to prop herself up further on her non-existent pedestal.

• Not bitch-slapping Stepzilla when she takes credit for all my thankless work in a staff meeting.

• Not bitch-slapping Stepzilla when she turns every point of any conversation toward herself, regardless of how it relates to the current topic.

3. What 1-2 goals would you like to focus on achieving over the next year?

• Finding a new job that will actually pay me a living wage, not charge me for parking, and where the employees don’t piss and moan about piddly shit that shouldn’t be given a half-a-thought.

4. Here are the goals you set for yourself last year - how do you see progress going?

- Learning more about our website structure Integrating XML with Indesign.

• Hell no. I didn’t do shit. I was WAY too preoccupied with training the new staff and doing everyone else’s job except my own! How the HELL do you expect me to work on my “goals” that don’t matter when you pile me under a workload big enough for four people?

5. What changes/improvements would you like to see focused on within the department
that would make work easier (please list in order of importance if you have multiple?)

• I would like to see Stepzilla focused on her own work rather than messing around in my files and making my job 5-times more difficult than it needs to be.

• I would like to see Stepzilla focused on stopping her need to “pre-guess” what people want or DON’T want, so that we don’t have to change a design 5-times when it was right the first time around.

• I would like to see Stepzilla focused on stopping her obsession with putting periods at the end of fragments.

• I would like to see Stepzilla focused on improving her managerial skills so that she doesn’t have 100% employee turnover at the end of every year.

• I would really like to see the department focused on a new manager that had none of Stepzilla’s OCD traits.