My letter of resignation

To: Stepzilla

From: Quirky Colormist

Date: February 12, 2007

Subject: Resignation

*********************************

Dear Stepzilla,

God, I thought this day would never come.

It’s with a happy heart that I am submitting my written notice of resignation from ICE effective two weeks from today. My last day will be 2/23/06. Suck that, bitches!

The past few weeks have been a great time for me as I interviewed and received an offer for a new career. The lady was very nice, pleasant, understanding, sympathetic, and totally lenient—you know, everything you’re NOT. Then I thought about whether or not it would be best served staying with ICE (HAHAHAHA) or moving to a new position with more money, nicer people, a creative environment, and where people are allowed (and encouraged! OMG!) to think. I probably won’t answer any questions you may have and am not comfortable discussing my totally awesome new job at this time because you’re not worthy.

I will be happy to help train my replacement—whatisface (we decided we shouldn’t put forth any effort to get to know one another)--or do anything else you feel will help make the transition smoother so long as it doesn’t involve me working or answering to you.

Thanks so much for always encouraging me to find a new job in that wonderfully unique way of yours. My experience at ICE has been demeaning, miserable, destructive, abusive, and enlightening. I finally understand what all narcissism involves. And I only wish my voodoo dolls actually worked.

Go to Hell,

Colormist