You can't say I didn't try to warn you...

Here at ICE we had an interview today with the potential Graphic Artist. Which, (on a tangent) I thought would work collaboratively with my position. However, he says that he would be following my lead. Which is odd because I'm almost certain he's going to make more money than me.

Tinkerbell tried to lead the conversation

I had a predetermined set of questions that I was going to use to deter the previous interviewee. However, the previous interviewee caught onto Stepzilla's evil vibes and decided to escape unscathed.

My questions include important things like:

1. Who do you want to win the SuperBowl?
2. What Simpsons character do you most closely relate yourself to?
3. Have you ever worked with micromanagers before?
4. How comfortable are you with making decisions based on limited information?
5. What is your experience working with print?
6. Are you comfortable explaining your work?
7. What's the average amount of projects you're comfortable handling during a given week?

I'm going to interpret his answers as desperate. I would say he was horribly stubborn, but then I would think that even a stubborn person would have got the point.

Shortly after the interview, we received an email from the interviewee. I think I'll call him Hasselhoff.

---------

Sharpie, Colormist, and Tinkerbell:

I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed meeting the three of you today. I appreciate your candor, but nevertheless remain very interested in the position. Despite nearly everything Tinkerbell said, it is obvious that you enjoy yourselves at work. I sincerely hope I have the opportunity to work with the three of you.

Peyton Manning once said, "Some guys need to see things on a grease board--I like when you can see it in your mind." Of course, that quote has no relevance here. Instead, it is a transparent attempt to win favor. I hope it works.

Thanks again,

Hasselhoff

To which I replied:

Hasselhoff,

After interviewing with you and mentioning your internet-life, I realized (given your reaction) that I should instantly go through and make sure there was nothing equally as embarrassing in direct connection to my name. I wasn’t going to mention the whole “Fark-thing”, but Sharpie’s a bit bolder than I am. Let’s just say, if you happen to stumble upon my voodoo website, I will deny everything.

That being said, Sharpie and I both highly enjoyed the mention of Peyton Manning—though we had no real idea as to what he was exactly talking about. We’re contemplating putting a life-sized shrine up in our office—at least until he wins the Superbowl. I’m sure you won’t mind.

And the down-low, which (I can tell) is what you’re really looking for in this email. Everybody likes you. We don’t really want to interview anybody else. More or less, I just want to stop doing web work and you seem quite persistent—even with my leading questions. Sharpie and I were considering writing on the back of our notes, “Get out while you still can!” and/or “Run AWAY! Quick!” However, I can see that even these futile attempts would not deter you. You are very steadfast and brave, akin to Ash on Army of Darkness. You have placed certainty in all of our minds that you will be able to handle the daunting task ahead.

You can’t say we didn’t warn you.

*Colormist