Two weeks of hell: The wonderful mind of Carol (part 2)
It’s a Friday. Technically everyone should be in a good mood, but I woke up this morning to a dying ferret, a broken windshield, and a lovely letter from Carol. Well, it wasn’t to me, but rather to Clark and Step-on-me (who’s still on her two-week vacation and far-far away from any email access). Please note that I am the one in charge of the project she’s talking about.
Nice. Not only is Clark fuming, but I was already upset before I came into work to such accusing emails. I tell Clark not to reply to her. It’s my project anyway and I’m passing out drafts this morning. I’ll handle her.
Drafts of the calendar in-hand, I enter her office and hand her the draft. “Here’s your calendar draft!” Smiling, I try to escape (being far more of a ‘flight’ than ‘fight’ individual), but she stops me.
Dammit-dammit-dammit-dammit-dammit…
“Did you get the email? I was expecting this to go in draft earlier.”
Of course, I didn’t get the email. She didn’t send the flipping thing to me even though she knows it’s my project. “Yeah, well you know… Book Catalog and all..”
I’m trying to escape again, but she starts her rambling. Carol is well known for her lengthy lectures about nothing where she talks herself in circles. I normally have no patience for this and will turn to my computer and begin working in attempt to ignore her. However, now I’m standing and way-way-far away from my computer. Trapped.
“You see, I am working really hard to get you your information on time so that you can get the calendar out in draft on the first.” She turns to her monstrous monthly calendar hanging on the wall and begins pointing to days. “If you get it out on the first, that gives us four days to proof the calendar, then you get it back on Thursday and can have three days to make changes, then you get it out in second draft on the 9th and give us three days to proof, then we get it back to you on Friday—”
I interject. This is getting us nowhere—as her lectures usually have a habit of doing. I’m not polite. I don’t deny it. “Right… so, ah, this is the first time I’ve heard of these dates. Did you talk to Step-on-me or Clark at all about them? Cause, I was unaware…”
“Yes! I did. I sent the email today.” (Please note email’s date.) “You see, I’m trying really hard to get you those reports on time—”
Oh, gawd. I don’t want her to repeat that whole speech again. “Right, but this is the first we’ve all heard of the August 1st date. We can’t get you a draft on time if we don’t know that you’re expecting it earlier than usual.”
“Oh, but I assumed because I’m getting you the information on time, that…”
I let her ramble for a little bit. I’m sure you can guess what she’s going to be rambling about this time. I just loved that word she told me. It was like a shining object in a mass of evil-wrongness. I couldn’t believe I got my manager’s supervisor to say that she ASSUMED anything!! Finally I butt into her lecture once more.
“Yes, Carol, and we appreciate that you’re getting us the information on time, but we can’t meet these dates if we don’t know about them ahead of time.” My tone has most definitely taken on to one of an adult talking to a lost child or confused elderly person. “How about we shoot for those dates next time if Step-on-me is okay with it?”
“Well, I’m trying really hard to get you that information on time so…”
“Yeah, so we’ll shoot for those dates next time, kay?” I leave the office.
Then, I’ll be damned if just a few days later Carol sends Clark another email.
What the hell is going on in her head? She keeps making up dates. The calendar is composed of November classes. After the calendar mails, the November classes each get an individualized brochure. These are mailed to prospective customers. Logic would lead you to reason that if the Calendar dates that she made up in her scary little head were not going to be in draft on the imaginary date she made up, then the November classes also would not meet those imaginary dates she made up.
Heaven help me if I ever become an illogical upper management jerk.
8/5/2005 7:56 AM
I don't believe we have seen even first draft proofs of this calendar. I would have expected to see drafts no later than August 1. With a printer date of August 15, this is very late for drafts. It gives no time for a proper review, changes, and a final review.
All material was given to you on time and complete.
Nice. Not only is Clark fuming, but I was already upset before I came into work to such accusing emails. I tell Clark not to reply to her. It’s my project anyway and I’m passing out drafts this morning. I’ll handle her.
Drafts of the calendar in-hand, I enter her office and hand her the draft. “Here’s your calendar draft!” Smiling, I try to escape (being far more of a ‘flight’ than ‘fight’ individual), but she stops me.
Dammit-dammit-dammit-dammit-dammit…
“Did you get the email? I was expecting this to go in draft earlier.”
Of course, I didn’t get the email. She didn’t send the flipping thing to me even though she knows it’s my project. “Yeah, well you know… Book Catalog and all..”
I’m trying to escape again, but she starts her rambling. Carol is well known for her lengthy lectures about nothing where she talks herself in circles. I normally have no patience for this and will turn to my computer and begin working in attempt to ignore her. However, now I’m standing and way-way-far away from my computer. Trapped.
“You see, I am working really hard to get you your information on time so that you can get the calendar out in draft on the first.” She turns to her monstrous monthly calendar hanging on the wall and begins pointing to days. “If you get it out on the first, that gives us four days to proof the calendar, then you get it back on Thursday and can have three days to make changes, then you get it out in second draft on the 9th and give us three days to proof, then we get it back to you on Friday—”
I interject. This is getting us nowhere—as her lectures usually have a habit of doing. I’m not polite. I don’t deny it. “Right… so, ah, this is the first time I’ve heard of these dates. Did you talk to Step-on-me or Clark at all about them? Cause, I was unaware…”
“Yes! I did. I sent the email today.” (Please note email’s date.) “You see, I’m trying really hard to get you those reports on time—”
Oh, gawd. I don’t want her to repeat that whole speech again. “Right, but this is the first we’ve all heard of the August 1st date. We can’t get you a draft on time if we don’t know that you’re expecting it earlier than usual.”
“Oh, but I assumed because I’m getting you the information on time, that…”
I let her ramble for a little bit. I’m sure you can guess what she’s going to be rambling about this time. I just loved that word she told me. It was like a shining object in a mass of evil-wrongness. I couldn’t believe I got my manager’s supervisor to say that she ASSUMED anything!! Finally I butt into her lecture once more.
“Yes, Carol, and we appreciate that you’re getting us the information on time, but we can’t meet these dates if we don’t know about them ahead of time.” My tone has most definitely taken on to one of an adult talking to a lost child or confused elderly person. “How about we shoot for those dates next time if Step-on-me is okay with it?”
“Well, I’m trying really hard to get you that information on time so…”
“Yeah, so we’ll shoot for those dates next time, kay?” I leave the office.
Then, I’ll be damned if just a few days later Carol sends Clark another email.
Carol 8/9/2005 10:20 AM
I see that the November classes are scheduled to go to the printer August 15. We have not received a first draft of the separate mailers.
Clark 8/9/05 10:30 AM
Hi Carol,
That is not the correct date. The calendar goes to the printer on the 16th-which is next Tuesday. The November classes do not go to the printer until Friday, the 19th. This should have been on the most recent sheet I gave you, but I am attaching it for your reference again. The November classes are in marketing draft today and should be in first draft by the end of the day tomorrow. I hope this helps.
Thanks,
Clark
Carol 8/9/05 10:31 AM
Thanks.
What the hell is going on in her head? She keeps making up dates. The calendar is composed of November classes. After the calendar mails, the November classes each get an individualized brochure. These are mailed to prospective customers. Logic would lead you to reason that if the Calendar dates that she made up in her scary little head were not going to be in draft on the imaginary date she made up, then the November classes also would not meet those imaginary dates she made up.
Heaven help me if I ever become an illogical upper management jerk.
posted by Laura Mitter at
12:57 PM
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