Two weeks of hell: Quite Contrary (part 1)
Step-on-me rushed the marketing department through every last pointless task in the weeks before her two-week vacation. It’s not that we, as a department, don’t think that we’re competent enough to do the shit we’ve been doing for over two-years, but rather that Carol has gotten into Step-on-me’s mind like cancer and caused her to lose all faith in her department.
And to think I remember a day when Step-on-me came to me with questions about how things were done in the marketing department. Now she acts like I didn’t even work here over a year ago. But that’s another blog for another day…
I’d like to introduce the latest cast member in my insane asylum of a workplace, Miss Contrary. Miss Contrary is frequently incapable of making up her mind. It is not uncommon for Miss Contrary to say she loves one thing one day, and then decide nary a few hours later that she hates it. As you can imagine, she’s rather difficult to please. And, again, this would be a person of power in my office. Why is it that all the crazy people are the ones that can’t make rational decisions??? Do other offices function like this?
However, I must soften Miss Contrary’s online identity. She is very apologetic after driving you insane and often has the oddest mannerisms that just make you smile. It’s very difficult to dislike Miss Contrary; however she did manage it this week.
The first bit of chaos was that Miss Contrary was extremely dissatisfied with the way a brochure printed while she was gone. What was most unsatisfactory was a bit of advertising that Carol added last-second to the cover of the brochure. Miss Contrary decided that it needed to be reprinted. Clark (being the acting-head of the marketing department in Step-on-me’s absence) was obliged to please her, mainly because he wasn’t allowed to veto anyone’s suggestions. So, we reprinted an entire brochure.
Then, through some divine influence, the large book catalog we’ve been working on for over 6-months has a major error on it. We discover that the person that was SUPPOSED to be proofing everything in the catalog, wasn’t proofing what they were supposed to be proofing. So Clark hands the book catalog over to Miss Contrary, and there are multiple problems. I can see the budget bursting at the seams while I make the changes. It’s already at the printer, so all changes now make for a broken budget. Fantastic.
Lastly, Miss Contrary has to proof a book brochure. Just a little letter sized sheet of paper folded in half. She gives Clark the ‘important highlights’ of the book and the ‘message’ she wants to convey. Piper plugs in the information as requested. Important information and message are clearly what your eye is drawn to, however Miss Contrary isn’t happy. Piper whips up a couple more mock-ups, but Miss Contrary is still dissatisfied. She doesn’t like what she said is important two days ago, so she changes her mind.
Two weeks goes by and Miss Contrary still can’t make up her mind about what she wants. On Thursday, Clark takes her five more mock-ups and presents them to her in hopes that she will choose between these mock-ups and pick the one that pleases her most. Not quite the case. Barely a few minutes into the conversation and you could almost see the sensory overload button blinking on top of Miss Contrary’s head.
“No. I can’t look at these. It’s too much. There are too many. I can’t… I’m not a designer. Perhaps you should have Carol look at them?”
Clark politely (or as politely as a person on their last nerve can be) points out that Carol has already approved the FIRST mock-up, and these are, like, mockups #179-184. But Clark WILL go down and show these to Carol if Miss Contrary wants her to.
“Oh? She did already see them. Well no. No. Carol doesn’t need to see them then. Perhaps I should just talk to Step-on-me when she gets back.”
Right, because Clark can’t legally knock some sense into Miss Contrary, but Step-on-me is paid to do so.
And to think I remember a day when Step-on-me came to me with questions about how things were done in the marketing department. Now she acts like I didn’t even work here over a year ago. But that’s another blog for another day…
I’d like to introduce the latest cast member in my insane asylum of a workplace, Miss Contrary. Miss Contrary is frequently incapable of making up her mind. It is not uncommon for Miss Contrary to say she loves one thing one day, and then decide nary a few hours later that she hates it. As you can imagine, she’s rather difficult to please. And, again, this would be a person of power in my office. Why is it that all the crazy people are the ones that can’t make rational decisions??? Do other offices function like this?
However, I must soften Miss Contrary’s online identity. She is very apologetic after driving you insane and often has the oddest mannerisms that just make you smile. It’s very difficult to dislike Miss Contrary; however she did manage it this week.
The first bit of chaos was that Miss Contrary was extremely dissatisfied with the way a brochure printed while she was gone. What was most unsatisfactory was a bit of advertising that Carol added last-second to the cover of the brochure. Miss Contrary decided that it needed to be reprinted. Clark (being the acting-head of the marketing department in Step-on-me’s absence) was obliged to please her, mainly because he wasn’t allowed to veto anyone’s suggestions. So, we reprinted an entire brochure.
Then, through some divine influence, the large book catalog we’ve been working on for over 6-months has a major error on it. We discover that the person that was SUPPOSED to be proofing everything in the catalog, wasn’t proofing what they were supposed to be proofing. So Clark hands the book catalog over to Miss Contrary, and there are multiple problems. I can see the budget bursting at the seams while I make the changes. It’s already at the printer, so all changes now make for a broken budget. Fantastic.
Lastly, Miss Contrary has to proof a book brochure. Just a little letter sized sheet of paper folded in half. She gives Clark the ‘important highlights’ of the book and the ‘message’ she wants to convey. Piper plugs in the information as requested. Important information and message are clearly what your eye is drawn to, however Miss Contrary isn’t happy. Piper whips up a couple more mock-ups, but Miss Contrary is still dissatisfied. She doesn’t like what she said is important two days ago, so she changes her mind.
Two weeks goes by and Miss Contrary still can’t make up her mind about what she wants. On Thursday, Clark takes her five more mock-ups and presents them to her in hopes that she will choose between these mock-ups and pick the one that pleases her most. Not quite the case. Barely a few minutes into the conversation and you could almost see the sensory overload button blinking on top of Miss Contrary’s head.
“No. I can’t look at these. It’s too much. There are too many. I can’t… I’m not a designer. Perhaps you should have Carol look at them?”
Clark politely (or as politely as a person on their last nerve can be) points out that Carol has already approved the FIRST mock-up, and these are, like, mockups #179-184. But Clark WILL go down and show these to Carol if Miss Contrary wants her to.
“Oh? She did already see them. Well no. No. Carol doesn’t need to see them then. Perhaps I should just talk to Step-on-me when she gets back.”
Right, because Clark can’t legally knock some sense into Miss Contrary, but Step-on-me is paid to do so.
posted by Laura Mitter at
12:55 PM
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