ScapeGoats-R-Us
Way back when I first interviewed for the full-time job at ICE (which would be about a year-and-a-half after I was hired as a temporary) I received one of the first hints of the true intentions of upper management.
For some odd reason, I had to interview with every manager at ICE (about 6 people) and CEO-lady. The most startling revelation came when I was asked to present my portfolio (full of pieces I did for ICE prior to being allowed to apply for a full-time/permanent position). Oddly enough, the people that I had to work with (face-to-face, no less) to get the brochures approved didn't know that I had created the brochures.
Apparently there must be this little gnome that works the night shift. I'm the only one who can speak his language, so I translate everything for him to put into the brochure. He's really nice. You should meet him.
They were all going "ooOOhhhh... You did this?"
Me, stretching for praise, jumped at the chance to flaunt (what I thought) was everyone's favorite brochure. I flip some pages, and show the interviewers the orange & blue brochure. "Yes, my most recent was this brochure."
[ insert beaming smile here ]
Now, to tell the truth, I really couldn't stand this brochure. It was pretty--at one time. Maybe. Maybe not. I remember my original was mostly blue with pretty stock photos and really techy-looking. However, the final result is mostly orange--er, all orange. Blue text. Bullets everywhere. So busy you don't know where you're supposed to be looking. I didn't like it, but it's what they wanted. Apparently they all LOVED it. At least they did, right up until now.
"Oh, yeah. That's why this class flopped." That's Carol for ya. Any chance to rain on your parade and she's all up in there.
[ remove beaming smile here ]
[ insert much steam and laser eyes ]
"Uh, no. I don't think so." I had to been glaring by this time. I'm not very good at hiding my emotions.
So, for placement. This class was new. First time ever. The customer is a penny-pincher all the way. They don't have much money, but they're our best customer. So, what's the rational ICE decision here? Why, charge them $250 for a two-day class, of course! Sure, they haven't budgeted for this class and they've never heard of it, but I'm sure they'll come pouring in just because they love us.
As they say, love can move the world.
Needless to say, the class flopped. In the end they were GIVING passes away just to get people to come. About 100 people came pro bono. Of course they love us, we give them classes for free!
So, yes. I didn't like the brochure that they forced me to design so digustingly overcrowded, but they LOVED it. Of course they did, because they designed it--so to speak. Then, when the class they designed a brochure for fails due to an error in proper customer analysis, who's to blame? Why the brochure desiger, OF COURSE??
For some odd reason, I had to interview with every manager at ICE (about 6 people) and CEO-lady. The most startling revelation came when I was asked to present my portfolio (full of pieces I did for ICE prior to being allowed to apply for a full-time/permanent position). Oddly enough, the people that I had to work with (face-to-face, no less) to get the brochures approved didn't know that I had created the brochures.
Apparently there must be this little gnome that works the night shift. I'm the only one who can speak his language, so I translate everything for him to put into the brochure. He's really nice. You should meet him.
They were all going "ooOOhhhh... You did this?"
Me, stretching for praise, jumped at the chance to flaunt (what I thought) was everyone's favorite brochure. I flip some pages, and show the interviewers the orange & blue brochure. "Yes, my most recent was this brochure."
[ insert beaming smile here ]
Now, to tell the truth, I really couldn't stand this brochure. It was pretty--at one time. Maybe. Maybe not. I remember my original was mostly blue with pretty stock photos and really techy-looking. However, the final result is mostly orange--er, all orange. Blue text. Bullets everywhere. So busy you don't know where you're supposed to be looking. I didn't like it, but it's what they wanted. Apparently they all LOVED it. At least they did, right up until now.
"Oh, yeah. That's why this class flopped." That's Carol for ya. Any chance to rain on your parade and she's all up in there.
[ remove beaming smile here ]
[ insert much steam and laser eyes ]
"Uh, no. I don't think so." I had to been glaring by this time. I'm not very good at hiding my emotions.
So, for placement. This class was new. First time ever. The customer is a penny-pincher all the way. They don't have much money, but they're our best customer. So, what's the rational ICE decision here? Why, charge them $250 for a two-day class, of course! Sure, they haven't budgeted for this class and they've never heard of it, but I'm sure they'll come pouring in just because they love us.
As they say, love can move the world.
Needless to say, the class flopped. In the end they were GIVING passes away just to get people to come. About 100 people came pro bono. Of course they love us, we give them classes for free!
So, yes. I didn't like the brochure that they forced me to design so digustingly overcrowded, but they LOVED it. Of course they did, because they designed it--so to speak. Then, when the class they designed a brochure for fails due to an error in proper customer analysis, who's to blame? Why the brochure desiger, OF COURSE??
posted by Laura Mitter at
2:54 PM
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