Einstein's latest idea
ICE has been suffering some serious staff losses over the past few months. I think we have at LEAST 10 new openings, and 3-5 other positions that they're not even filling. I'm beginning to worry about my work load and if I should be looking elsewhere for employment.
Einstein officially lost the last member of his department this week. She's been screwed over multiple times, and we're all happy that she's managed to give a polite 'fuck-you' to ICE and quit when she's needed most. It effects my department, but I think we'll manage. It was nice to see upper management squirm.
Interestingly enough, Einstein has been wanting an assistant for many many moons. Actually, he calls everyone his assistant or his secretary--even when they work in a completely different department on the other side of the building. So, essentially, everyone working at ICE is his assistant, except for the two people who are higher than him in rank.
So, before his last staff member leaves, she hires a temporary to be Einstein's assistant! Finally! Someone he can LEGALLY call his assistant. He loves her, from the moment he discovers her title, even if she doesn't know what the hell she's doing.
Her name is most interesting. It is the same name as Step-on-me. So, Einstein dubs her #2. Step-on-me, by association, would now be #1.
Step-on-me cannot stand nicknames. In fact, if she knew I had dubbed her Step-on-me, I'd probably not receive a very good referral while looking for new employers. During the morning meeting today, she say, "So help me God, if he EVEN calls me #1, [insert your favorite violent threat here]"
I really think that Einstein was just WAITING to call her #1. He walks down this afternoon, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "So, Step-on-me #1..."
I have to say, I was a little disappointed with her reaction. I was really looking forward to her [insert your favorite violent threat here] all over Einstein. She said she's not going to take any violent actions until he shortens her name to just "#1".
Einstein officially lost the last member of his department this week. She's been screwed over multiple times, and we're all happy that she's managed to give a polite 'fuck-you' to ICE and quit when she's needed most. It effects my department, but I think we'll manage. It was nice to see upper management squirm.
Interestingly enough, Einstein has been wanting an assistant for many many moons. Actually, he calls everyone his assistant or his secretary--even when they work in a completely different department on the other side of the building. So, essentially, everyone working at ICE is his assistant, except for the two people who are higher than him in rank.
So, before his last staff member leaves, she hires a temporary to be Einstein's assistant! Finally! Someone he can LEGALLY call his assistant. He loves her, from the moment he discovers her title, even if she doesn't know what the hell she's doing.
Her name is most interesting. It is the same name as Step-on-me. So, Einstein dubs her #2. Step-on-me, by association, would now be #1.
Step-on-me cannot stand nicknames. In fact, if she knew I had dubbed her Step-on-me, I'd probably not receive a very good referral while looking for new employers. During the morning meeting today, she say, "So help me God, if he EVEN calls me #1, [insert your favorite violent threat here]"
I really think that Einstein was just WAITING to call her #1. He walks down this afternoon, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "So, Step-on-me #1..."
I have to say, I was a little disappointed with her reaction. I was really looking forward to her [insert your favorite violent threat here] all over Einstein. She said she's not going to take any violent actions until he shortens her name to just "#1".
posted by Laura Mitter at
4:06 PM
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