Ladies Bathroom Etiquette

Ladies Bathroom Etiquette: The unspoken rules of the Ladies' public restroom

1. Eye contact is NOT desired.

• Do not make eye contact unless: i.) you know the individual very-very well, or ii.) you know the individual somewhat and you are the only two people in the restroom.
• If you know the individual somewhat, then eye contact is only justified if you've just entered the restroom and the individual is leaving or the individual has just entered the restroom and you are leaving
• If you make eye contact, you MUST exchange pleasantries.

2. No noises in the stall.

• Especially if you have made eye contact and the individual is still in the bathroom, you cannot make any noises.
• Noises are only acceptable in the stall if: I.) the sink is running, ii.) someone has just flushed the toilet, iii.) someone is using the towel dispenser, handdryer, or other machine, iv.) someone else is 'Going #1', or v.) there is no one in the bathroom.
• Noises in the stall under the cover of other noises may only be identified as 'Going #1'
• All noises in the stall that are classified under 'Going #2' can only be made if there is NO ONE in the restroom. Stall occupants are encouraged to lean down and look under the stall wall to check if they are uncertain. Stall occupants may have to wait several minutes before actually completing 'Going #2'.
• Any noises heard that emanate from a stall other than the one you occupy must be ignored at all cost.

3. No commenting to another individual that is in a stall or while you are in a stall. There is only one exception with individuals you know very-very well and there being no other occupants in the restroom.

4. If you have entered a stall, closed the door, and another person was already in a stall or has entered immediately after you closed the stall door, then you MUST make sure to time your exits so that you don't see one another leave the restroom as well.

• If the individual exits the stall before you, please wait (even if you've already flushed and have redressed) until they wash their hands, dry, and leave the restroom.
• Equally, if you are the individual that has left the stall first, please wash your hands, dry, and leave the restroom as soon as possible.
• If step #4 is successfully enacted, then MOST noises made in the stall are considered non-existent. This does not count for 'Going #2' but can cover for occasional flatulence.

5. Only access the toilet roll twice. Upon first sitting down and after finishing your duties. Any additional access can be considered, by outside parties, as 'stomach problems'.

6. Crimson Wave items are permitted at all costs.

• Any noises that accompany the Crimson Wave are entirely acceptable as humbling, and empathetic.
• However, the Crimson Wave items must not be seen at all costs. Places to hide Crimson wave items include: up sleeve, in pocket, in purse (only in stores & restaurants), in pant/skirt waist. Other options may also be available.

7. If you have 'Gone #2' successfully, it is best to NOT use the sink directly in front of your stall. By not using that sink dictated in front of you stall, you are suggesting that you didn't use that stall and/or any of the odors emanating from it.

8. Spray cover-up at your own risk. It helps to destroy odors, but being caught by the entry of another individual wanting to use the restroom can be extremely detrimental. Only the stealthiest of stealthy individuals are permitted to attempt this feat.

9. Again, if you have 'Gone #2' you must not only go while no-one is in the restroom but you must also exit the restroom without anyone knowing you were just in there. It is imperative that you disconnect yourself with use of the restroom.

10. Always wash your hands and use a paper towel to dry if there is a door to exit the bathroom. The towel then can be used to open the door (without getting any germs on your hand). After you've opened the door with the towel, hold the door open with your foot, throw the towel away, and exit gracefully.

11. Most of the above rules are null and void (except #6) in large crowded bathrooms. All attempts at 'Going #2' must be muffled with excess toilet paper.